Six Months

Since graduating college two years ago,  I have fostered a six month shelf life.  That is, after six months of the same thing, regardless of what it is, I become bored of it, aggravated with it and have a burning desire to move on.  With that said, I have been living in my present apartment for seven months, and  working for the same amount of time.  I am tired of it!  No matter how much energy I have when I go to work, the second I arrive, I am tired and not in the mood to be there, which negatively translates to my ability to deal with people. This is a major problem when working in the service world!  As remorseful as it is to say, I am loosing my psych on Rumney.  I haven't had the same, riveting desire to climb there, as I did when I returned from my previous adventure.

Call me crazy, but I would rather live a modest life, work as little as possible, save a fortuitous amount of money then travel and climb.  I am often plagued by my inability to make decisive decisions.  Especially those regarding my life, i.e., where and what to go to graduate school for...  this, in combination with the above stated has left me in a quasi depressed state.  The only thing I know for sure, is that I am leaving in a week and will be gone for two months on an adventure that will define me as a person (or so I hope).  Another downfall I see in myself, is the high expectations I put on things.  I am often left with disappointing results.  Will this trip help me figure out who I am... who knows... I don't.  However, I hope that it will.

I am envious of my friends in graduate school, I am jealous of the ones who have started careers.  But,  when I talk to them, they don't seem happier then me and they tell me that they wish they could do what I am doing.  Is it human nature to never be content with your situation?  Are we constantly thirsting for more?  The greener pasture?  There are moments in life that shape and mold "you" for ever.  These defining moments are never clear, but paramount later in life.  I believe there is no price on happiness and no fortune can bring it to me eternally.  I would rather have five friends who know I love and care for them, then be a celebrity.

I climbed in the rain today with a few friends.  We all went out knowing the day was a bust, but we still went.  None of us went because the climbing was going to be exceptional, we (at least I went) for the comradeship, the stupid and inane banter, the smiles and the laughs...